1. The fat kid was always the goalkeeper / The least influential Minister(Commissioner) gets the sports portfolio.

2. The owner of the ball decides who plays / The government of the day determines the attention sports gets.

3. The one who is not picked was responsible to fetch the ball when it got out of play in order to play the next game/ The fan is the least concern of the clubs

4. When the owner of the ball got annoyed, it’s game over/ When government ceases sponsorship, game over.

5. When you hit your toes against a stone and you noticed blood, you quickly cover the area of injury with sand as a form of first aid and play continues /If you’re an injured player, you are OYO till you heal.

6. You can’t dribble the owner of the ball too much, this may lead him to stop the game by taking away his ball / If the football federation tries to be too autonomous, government clip their wings .

7. No offsides and there was no referee / International rules are a guide to be used as applicable & adjustable to suit influence.

8. There is foul only if you fell and plenty of dust everywhere / The offended team takes the decision it gets, no appeal only surrender.

9. The two best players can not play in the same team, so they challenge themselves and pick others / Government owned clubs & government ran Federations pick the rules & players all day long, everyday, every season .

10. If you are chosen last it means you are not good and you will remain in defense / When Government ran Federations identify with you & engage you, then you either dance to their tunes or else.

11. The best player is always in the same team with the owner of the ball/ The best funded teams always gets the most influence with the federation .

12. To distinguish the two teams, one of the teams pulls off their shirts/ Fans don’t need to wear club jerseys, it’s a taboo in Nigerian Football.

13. There is always a house which when the ball goes in there, we knew game is over. So be careful!! / There is always that state/federal administration that doesn’t give a damn about football & will hold everything up.

14. Game will only be over when it is dark and we could barely see the ball/ The whole Nigerian Football set up will collapse when we refuse to modernize & adjust.

15 Back then, we’ll all disperse in groups, teasing one another until we get home to face another punishment by our parents./ Now we continue to blame each other & still run back to government to get treated like gutless unprofessionals & distinguished beggers.

I really enjoyed my childhood, as I am certain you did too.

If you are not one of
us, of the childhood described above, you belong to another generation, with similar enjoyable childhood experience.

But sadly, we are still stuck in childish times in our football because we refuse to do the right thing.




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