Is it impossible to ideally explain one’s love with just words?

Read through this excerpts from ‘Fever: The origins of fever’ and see if you identify with the emotions & concerns registered by the couple.
The sparkle went out of her eyes and returned as quickly as it left. A child would easily realize that she had actually paused in thinking as she unconsciously held her breath. Her lighter facial complexion took on that glossy oily texture that belied the held notion that dark skinned people don’t blush.

Then she exhaled with a loud audible whizzing whoosh. She consequently turned and looked away with that pretentious awe that the suddenness or a lack of it, always seems to demand of most puberty weaned women in similar circumstances. It was indeed pretentious, but not remotely hypocritical.

She wasn’t blank in her head, that solitary place of the mind’s earnest thoughts was busy celebrating that he had ventured into her loneliest coziest secret thoughts.

As she remained silent for that briefest while and looking away, it encouraged him greatly. She was sure making him say more would rapture any bag of beautiful lies he would try to hide with the elegant beauty of so many sweet words.

The much she knew about him said he is a very analytic young man. He uses all the space he has wisely, so she used up all the opportunity to observe and comprehend the genuineness of his intention fully. The marvel of it appeared simple, as she refrained from speaking for a prolonged while but even as she tarried to let him say more, it didn’t deter him.

His confidence waned just a shade. So he went ahead to recite most of the niceties he had grown weary composing all night, for every night since the idea had come to him, and that is almost for as long as he had known her.

He had made up pictures in his mind of both of them in fantasized romantic closures and slowly he lost control of this most secretive activity of his mind, as it forcibly crept into every single one of his nightly dreams and daily thoughts.

Right there on the vast lawns of his large coastal home, that stretched onto the piled sands edging the ocean, bordering yet another end of an endless expanse of mostly calmly unstable salty water, he mumbled his thoughts out loud with the hopeful prayer that she would let her compassionate heart speak and not her wise mind. That her heart would be mindless of what her mind would warn it of and she would let his dreams come true.

He attempted to prove the truth of his love for her in as many words, as best as he verbally could, but realized it is quite impossible to ideally explain one’s love with just words. Still he felt with the so many words he was able to cramp into that brief, he had said enough not to have his sincere intention summarily dismissed by her. He hoped the much he said ought to convince her that he was only bent on making her happy and loved.

The young lady had her very own fears of not being perceived to be merely a very good act. She had hoped that the courage he showed in being so blunt with her hadn’t come from something she did or said. It was important to her that her true feelings towards him did not come across and show off so easily. He is a very wealthy good looking young man and that ought to easily make him attractive to every young lady for so many wrongly deduced right reasons. She was worried that he didn’t draw the wrong conclusion about her.

As he waited for her response with tensed up repressed emotions, she failed in her effort to disguise the intensity of the relief that overwhelmed her, as she decided to gamble her trust.

They knew they couldn’t possibly loathe themselves and must fill their minds with enough knowledge of the honest nice feelings that ridicule them. She exhaled and sighed silently, then also fulfilled her six months old wish by wordlessly embracing him in her simple sincere act of acceptance and submission.

35 thoughts on “The Proposal

  1. Yas, one of the thing I about the piece is the lady’s concerns about the man’s perception of her inner feeling – that innermost so intense that she couldn’t hide. I know that kind of thing, sometimes revealing that perception can make the man lose.

    1. Interesting way to see it but she was really trying to second guess him. They both have strong feelings for each other but also had fears that the other person might feel differently, hence the cautious approach to revealing their feelings

      1. You got that right, the second guessing is a universal classic; Revealing your feeling in an unfriendly territory is a form of diving in an empty swimming pool and it hurts. From a conservative context it is also interesting thing. In such a context, where girls are educated to hold an unprosmicuitive, if I might use the word, decorum, the guilt goes beyond the two, because the girl, in particular, is supposed to hold an unprocative, I mean inviting to debauch – and again, if I might again, attitude. Etc. does that make sense?

      2. Yes it makes sense. Women are not built like that though, their nature is more forward. But in order to survive & adapt to the demeaned situation they mainly find themselves due to cultural pressures, they become much less forward

  2. I guess the point I raised, have to do the character development. Depending on their origins, educations this particular inner conflict would add a sharper spark on the story.

  3. Sharper conflict generates sub- stories, therefore complexity. Of course, as it stands, the story itself is intense enough for the storyline, as intended to be.

  4. In other words, this girl being the daughter of the bishop or the grand Imam would bring more drama to story than being an anonymous one.

    1. That is especially the case when the key actors from these diverse conflicting parts are uneducated or not exposed and uncivilized in their orientation.

  5. By the way, the sub-conflict could ethnic, religious, or even class. For example, it could draw from current Boko haram leader’ liberal son versus a pro Abuja government, a rich daughter or son versus area boy or girl, etc. etc. by the way talking about big city lover, my boys in Port harcourt would come to Lagos to visit in a day but never willing to spend a night in Lagos. Although I love Lagos there is part of me that is totally for PH.

    1. Religion is worst instigator of these social conflicts these days., Which is so unfortunate considering the similar laudable virtues a majority of religious folks have. One would expect it to be the attraction. It is even worse when extremities emerge in different ideologies within the same religion eg Catholic versus Protestant in Christianity or Shitte versus Sunni in Islam.

      PH is okay but I am more into Calabar kind of setting. last year was the 1st year in 7 years I didn’t go to Calabar. Beautiful city, lovely people. Being a grand dad has made me less eager to travel I guess… Ha Ha ha

      1. Religion, politics, ethnicity, and class, can be sensitively used to spark conflicts for deeper reflection and ad dimension to characters etc. and that has been device used universally to get the most out of stories. they could also negatively used and depending on where you are coming from. I never been to Calabar, but I heard it is one of the most orderly cities of Nigeria – if not the most. Years ago, I had the chance to deal with Efik male secret societies, known as Abakua in Cuba, with guys elegantly dressed in their white shirt and colourful wraps under neath, bot to forget the sandals etc.

      2. It is sad how people take advantage of religion to do evil. So sad.

        You will love Calabar. I have heard about the Efik male fraternities, they are really hush-hush.

  6. The dilemma today!Literally seeing so much forgery scares a person about everything and the doubts imprinted in our minds fail to make us happiness about a certain genuine things..We are like in a predicament of mistrust and somehow ignore this joy of acceptance!
    Well written! 🙂
    I am glad I paused by 🙂

    1. Well said Izza…. People are terrified to trust any more, for good reasons mostly. But this phobia denies most people the joys in trusting.

      1. Soo true! and this baggage stays with us forever! Do visit my blog as well.though I am not good as you but still I need some kind words to seek aspiration 🙂

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