Happily Wedded
Think the old fashion African man, very present today on his continent and beyond it. He is steadfast with his dreams of being the master of culture, woman, beast and land, still wrestling with his aimless hopes of always being in-charge; more so when it concerns his defiant woman’s hopes.

Her emotion are singled out, his wishes isolated, little hope for both as her hairs style speaks her preference and everyday she’s a lighter brown.

Emptiness in smiles reveal their hearts create vacancies. 

Her eyes speak her hidden fears, yet she weeps not. Her pride and knowledge rises as their old ride is almost at existence’s verge. He wants what is not given, so much that it hurts a lot. Their affection is true but their marriage is not. There is rage, they feel caged in by the ruse of their time. 

She is too modern for him. She is there beside him but he is not really standing with her, claiming as he does, to be her dedicated man.

His attitude mails nothing she sees, that shows he shares her dream to be free of his control and his peer, not his subordinate.

And he? He wonders where is she, the woman he owns by right?

With the dreams of many
Mine wrestled so bravely.
Amidst hopes so sunny,
They tussle aimlessly.

She stood aside alone
With hands akimbo.
Beckoning even a stone,
A sight commanding a bow.

Humming emotional tunes;
Singled out, isolated wishes.
All engulfed in fumes,
Little hope for securing stitches.

Her hairs say her preference;
Tailing behind as Medusa’s crown.
Her aim in her appearance
As everyday she’s a lighter brown.

The immorality in fantasies,
The emptiness in smiles
As hearts create vacancies;
Hopes dumped in closed files.

It’s bottled up inside her;
The pain of another way.
She is sincere and only prefer,
That’s all she ever will say.

In those eyes that speak
Darkness glows from hidden fears.
The wait’s companion at its peak,
Yet she wouldn’t let the tears.

From mountains of selfish pride
Falls many years of knowledge
And it’s all been only a ride
That’s almost at existence’s verge.

Wanting what’s not given
So much that it hurts a lot.
Shy but ever once beaten,
It’s in these fears we’re caught.

So short ago the smiles spoke,
Or so I thought in my indifference.
Hearts appeared immune to a poke,
Like empty bags in conference.

The affection wasn’t a mirage,
Probably the marriage was.
But the rage in this cage;
Experience defeatingly shall pass.

She isn’t standing with me,
Claiming as I do, to be the man.
Her attitude mails nothing I see,
Then where is she, the woman?

9 thoughts on “WHERE’S MY WOMAN?

  1. “And he? He wonders where is she, the woman he owns by right?” – right there and spot on. Culturally and religiously, our men are made to believe women are to be owned.
    Time has changed, but men supremacy too ‘cultural’ to let go of, it is really backfiring, isn’t it? Hence emptiness in smiles.

    We all do need to tweak attitudes so relationships can be as enjoyable/fulfilling as it’s meant to be.

    1. I was waiting to read your comment on this post….. I knew you will like it.

      It touches to the very heart of what you know to be the case, doesn’t it? Well, it is the truest situation of this right now & you better believe it, coming from an African man…. LOL

      What’s more….. (This you might disagree with) … You know all that more recent support you African women folk are getting from the more enlightened Modern African men folk? Sorry to burst your bubble but beware, most of it is a ruse…..

      1. LOL! Well, Don’t you worry about ‘ruse’ because women, I tell you know all about tricks, hence there’s a rope on the men 🙂

        You see, I know about African men who want their women educated, enlightened, bear children and of course the queen of domestic chores and upon all want them to be all in the bedroom.

        No wahala, because men of such mindset only learn when it’s too late.

        But seriously, why do African men in particular want it all but failed to adjust to what is reasonable to maintain a happy home in today’s world – give and take?

      2. Dem dey suck am for breast>>>>> That is the most honest answer anyone will give you……..

        African women let them, by glorifying them from preconception, to birth, then all through their life and after they die. Period!

        You ask me, “Why do African men (in particular) want it all….”…. I tell you because the majority of African women still think the African man is master & all & all.

        Why he is ‘failing’ to adjust to what is reasonable to maintain a happy home in today’s world….. But he has a happy home now because he is happy. I tell you & yet ask you? He is comfortable with the status quo, why change it? Does he have a reason to ‘give’…. The African women (in particular) never give a hint they want it any other way. As long as they’re willing to continue to be subordinates and give, he will ever be willing to dominate & take.

        Remember we are talking about they average African woman….

      3. “African women let them, by glorifying them from preconception, to birth, then all through their life and after they die.”

        Spot on there.
        And of course we can all agree loving and protecting children is important but when one gender is favoured at the expense of the other is what really create false hope for our men.
        So on this basis, after I have had enough a few months ago I asked my own sister that I love and appreciate “Sister, do you think my niece would ever go out with anyone with either of her brother’s attitude?” She paused, didn’t say yes or no but plenty of excuses. I told her am not too worried because my niece is smart.

        Often I had to be careful with my nephews so they don’t get the wrong idea that I don’t love them the same way as their sister, so more than necessary, I try to be explicit that what they called privilege is not sustainable.

        Thank you for bringing this to light.

  2. When I was younger, I sought out a man who was master of his domain, mostly to avoid my own self and hide behind him. In the end, I left him because we had nothing. I was not myself but a fantasy for him, that was what he loved. He thinks his heart was broken but it was just pride, He would hate who I am now. But my new mellow husband likes me, so it is all cool. I liked this.

    1. Glad you liked it.
      It feels quite natural for most men to want to dominate the women around them. It is a residue of our animistic tendency. But it can be helped & not used as a basis to brutalize women. We have grown & developed into civilized folks & just like we’re a whole lot less barbaric in our approach to most aspect of life, it ought to feel natural for men to acknowledge that women are full-fledged partners & peers, not subordinates.

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